Let's make this snappy:
Leigh, Adriana, Emmy are BFFs in New York. Leigh has OCD and a perfect boyfriend (later turned fiance) named Russell. Adriana is a Brazilian socialite that lives off her parents money and sleeps around. Emmy was just dumped by her boyfriend of five years, Duncan. He left her for his twenty-three year old trainer, a virgin with big boobs.
The girls agree to make major changes to their lives in the next year. Emmy is going to break her streak as a serial monogamist, Adrianna is going to be monogamous, and Leigh is gonna keep doin' what she's doin'.
Emmy sleeps with a couple guys she meets while on business trips abroad. Adrianna pegs a guy as her future husband (before she's even met him) and begins a long-term relationship with him. Proving that personality compatibility means nothing to a 29-year-old woman in pursuit of a wedding ring. Leigh gets engaged and has a ten hour affair with an author, Jesse, she's editing for work.
Adrianna starts writing a column for Marie Claire on how to snare a man. It's picked up for a movie before the first column has even been published. Adrianna moves to Los Angeles to work on the screenplay and be independent. She decides not to date exclusively.
Leigh breaks up with Russell, starts a relationship with Jesse, and quits her job as an editor to get an MFA in creative writing.
Emmy meets up with Paul, a guy that rejected her on her first attempt at a one-night stand. She randomly sees him in a restaurant in Los Angeles (where the girls have met up to evaluate their one-year life change). After she originally met him in a hotel lobby in Paris. Highly unlikely. Anyway, she goes back to his brother and sister-in-law's house to help him take care of his new niece. It's implied that they're starting a relationship.
- I've come to the conclusion that the literary (using that word loosely) world would like us all to think that there are only three career options for women living in New York City:
- Socialite--Adriana also did brief stints as (1) art gallery director, (2) buyer for Saks, and (3) advertising person/worker. All pre-approved jobs for New Yorkers.
- The three girls met as freshmen at Cornell. From their conversations, I'm seriously thinking I aimed too low when I only applied to state schools.
- Adriana is a socialite. She's also Brazilian. I get it. I got it the first time it was mentioned. I didn't need to be reminded by having every other word out of Adriana's mouth be about how much money she has or a reference to Brazil.
- It's tiring to constantly read about how Emmy and Adriana don't understand why Leigh isn't perfectly satisfied with her fiancé and job. Sometimes that happens. They would know that if they listened to her. Like when she specifically said she didn't love him.
- Leigh is reading Something Borrowed. There's a whole scene between her and Jesse about chick lit. The Nanny Diaries is called a "classic." I read The Nanny Diaries. "Classic" is not the word that came to my mind. Leigh's definition of "classic" book makes me think that I, too, could be a book editor. Apparently, good taste is not a job requirement.
- I do believe my sister owns all of these books. Including Chasing Harry Winston. Further evidence that one of us (her!) was fathered by the milkman.
- Stevie Wonder could have seen the Leigh-Jesse affair coming.
- Apparently, people are calling Adriana the next Candace Bushnell. I recall another book I read where the author was compared to Candace Bushnell. I'm not impressed. With either.
- The references are obnoxious. Grey's Anatomy, The Hills, America's Next Top Model. Candace Bushnell. The chick lit. Facebook. Myspace. Wasn't Emmy gushing about how intelligent Paul was? And these are the things she and her friends love?
- Don't get me wrong. I'm extremely familiar with all of these things. (Except The Hills. I stand by my original decision that Laguna Beach was stupid and not worth watching. I'm sure as shit not going to follow those girls to their psuedo-jobs as adults.) The frequency that the girls are watching/reading/discussing these things is disturbing.
- With so many pop culture references, this book has no longevity. It's like me being confused when the BSC referenced The Love Boat. Uh, what?
- Emmy's ex-boyfriend's virginal girlfriend has a Myspace that she actively uses. Therefore she sucks. I'm with them on that. There is a certain age where we need to put on our big girl pants and move on to social networking sites that don't involve glittery comments.
- There's this whole thing with a parrot that Emmy's boyfriend before Duncan left with her. Adrianna takes him in and changes him from screaming "fatty" to "pretty girl." Because Otis, the parrot, had self-esteem issues.
- Further proof that I'm better suited for Cornell than Adrianna was. Otis was saying "fatty" because of self-esteem issues. He's a bird. There's a difference between speech and language. Otis does not have language, he has speech. Therefore, he doesn't understand what he's saying. He has no self-esteem issues. He's just repeating what he's heard.
- The parrot is Adrianna's "lucky charm." Funny it was such a big part of the conclusion for being such a small (and unnecessary) part of the rest of the story.
- The whole thirty-is-basically-dead thing is kind of obnoxious. I plan to be very much alive in Fall 2019.